THE HAMPTONS: Traffic Jams, Revolution, Cannibalism and Murder (Ok, not really.)

Submitted by Laura Thomas on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 11:27

The one line plot summary of Godard’s 1967 film “Week-End” according to IMBD: A supposedly idyllic weekend trip to the countryside turns into a never-ending nightmare of traffic jams, revolution, cannibalism and murder as French bourgeois society starts to collapse under the weight of its own consumer preoccupation.

Funny, that this past weekend (my first trip to the Hamptons ever) would remind me of this film.

Friday morning, I picked up my cute Jetta ZipCar named Julianna in Manhattan. Picked up my cute co-worker Stacie in Brooklyn with some Hottie McDiamonds by Kwiat for the PYTs at the Social Life Magazine party Saturday night. Missed the Long Island Expressway (Stacie: Laura, don’t you need to take the L.I.E. to Long Island? Laura: What’s the L.I.E.?). Sat in traffic—when in Rome…Ate some tasty nachos at World Pie in Bridgehampton. Scored some much needed pool time. Checked out the charming little Surf Lodge in Montauk (You MUST order the Gin Blossom. I recommend drinking four before going into the Tracy Fieth boutique). The weekend had all the trappings of a lovely jaunt to the countryside, n’est pas?

I should have known that this idyllic weekend was too good to be true when Stacie and I rose early Saturday morning to head into East Hampton center for some breakfast at Babette’s. First off, the waitress spilled coffee all over the table. Then I walked in on a gentleman in the restroom who forgot to lock the door. And then Stacie tells me that she thought Marion Cotillard was sitting in the back before there was time for me to rush back and assault her. Nevertheless, we made it back to the pool for some sun worship—after I found a divine beaded Collette Dinnigan sarong at Collette Designer Consignment of course.

Tanned and happy we collected our jewels and ourselves and headed to Watermill to the Social Life Magazine Estate. We met my pal Kristian Laliberte who promptly took us on a tour of the spread. Upon surveying the pristine pool and pastoral back lawn, I promptly ran into a lounge chair gashing my leg and then brusquely rubbed up against a brick column in my all white chiffon Cynthia Steffe dress, which immediately created little ripples of pulls down the front. (So very uncool.)

The next few hours were a whirl of dressing up lovely ladies such as Bettina Prentice, Annalyne McCord, Cena Jackson, Kelly Bensimon and Sarah Basile in Kwiat Vintage and Legacy Collection sparklers to compliment their Great Gatsby-inspired ensembles. Fun and games. Then it was 11 p.m. and Stacie and I were faint with hunger. So we packed up the booty and headed to World Pie for Round II of those demon temptress nachos. The fact that Ivanka Trump was there looking all thin and ethereal did not stop us from shoving corn chips slathered in guac and cheese into our mouths. Oh, no.

Finally, it was time to head back to our mutual favorite location: BED. But, oh no! At 11:30 p.m. on Montauk Highway an errant child who chose to tailgate yours truly for nearly twenty minutes, rear-ended our car. All I have to say is that he was lucky we were well fed. After the whole rigmarole of shattered glass, flashing lights, police reports and sundry declarations that I would never go back to the Hamptons ever again, we were released.

I guess the only way to wrap up the story of my ‘week-end’ is to quote dear old Granddaddy Godard: A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end... but not necessarily in that order.

A Robert Graham shirt on a patron at Surf Lodge